2013 has not been an easy year… I can kind’ve break it into three parts: The Preparation, The Destruction & The Resurrection (I’m determined to write more about this later) but in the meantime…
2013 was the year that:
I was lied to, lied about and slandered publicly no less than 3 times.
I helped someone walk away a from an abusive relationship.
I was betrayed by close friends and several people who were employed by me.
I had surgery to remove what was suspected cancer from my body.
I was literally dizzy with relief when it wasn’t cancer.
Someone I love dearly had to have a mastectomy.
I got my first (and definitely not last) tattoo.
I successfully applied for Art Council funding. Then told the funding was an error. Then successfully had the funding reinstated.
I finally got off my anti-depressants after 3 years.
2.5 months later I had to start taking them again when the show collapsed.
I watched in awe as Maisie started school, learned to read, write & spell.
I wore a onesie in public.
I had severe suicidal thoughts.
I had incredibly wonderful friends make sure I wasn’t alone, even for a minute, for 4 straight days.
I’ve promised a friend that I would always be there for and be a part of her children’s life if she were no longer here.
I’ve had people see value in me & what I want to achieve when I saw nothing and had nothing left to give.
I conducted research that found that 70% of women who see the work that I created feel better about themselves as mothers.
I’ve given countless kisses and hugs. I’m looking to do more next year.
I was accepted into Oxford University & began their Creative Writing program.
I was given a place to lick my wounds and put myself back together.
I’ve learned some people will screw over anyone to get ahead. While others don’t climb as quickly as they deserve because they choose to be kind.
I have seen so many friends bestow great kindness on Maisie.
I learned how to have the hard conversations.
I’ve learned how to stand up for myself.
I’ve laughed myself silly.
I’ve written far more than I published.
I’ve eaten some incredible meals.
I started dating again.
I lost 28lbs.
I discovered my tribe.
I’ve found reason where there should be none.
I lost my savings on the show.
I had part of my life optioned for a feature film.
I’ve passed on opportunities to other people that have advanced their careers.
I’ve refused to give up.
I have never publicly said a bad word about any of the people who have lied about me, slandered me or destroyed the show. Nor have I told those who’s actions impacted in other ways, how things were their fault. What’s the point? It won’t fix things and it ultimately won’t make me feel better (in the long run anyway!)
I’ve met someone who is the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night.
I have learned to put myself first.
For the first time in 5 years I did NOT move house this year!
I have learned that when challenged the work is not as important as we think it to be. The human cost is ALWAYS more important than work.
I have done love. Soooooooo much love!
I know that 2013 has been a hard year for many of you – you have my sympathy & my commiseration. All we can do is hold our heads up high and face the bright future of 2014 with optimism and faith. Here’s to a clean slate!