One: A Letter to My Daughter on Her First Birthday

My dearest darling monkey,

I can’t believe you’re turning one today. In some ways it feels like just yesterday I saw your beautiful face for the first time and in other ways it seems like you’ve always been a part of this family, a part of me.

Over the last year we’ve watched you bloom and grow from a mewling, helpless infant to a sweet dynamic baby girl. You’ve learned so much this first year – how to feed, roll over, sit up, crawl, stand, splash, high five, clap and ‘dance’ but I’ve learned even more. I’ve discovered that the heart truly knows no bounds, that love is infinite, that I have more strength and patience than I have ever known.

This year has not been without it trials and you will never know how incredibly sorry I am that in the latter half of this year I have not been the Mama I desperately wanted to be, the Mama I was, the Mama you truly deserve. I need you to know that it is because of everything you are, and will be, that I fight. Your sweet, darling self gives me the strength and the desire to fight this depression that has invaded our world like a cancer, your kisses and cuddles are the ammunition and your laugh our battle cry and I promise we will be victorious.

And yet, like everything else in your life, you take it all in your stride. I’ve said before you are not the baby I expected, that I am constantly amazed and surprised by how amazingly well you deal with anything and everything that crosses your path. You are a daily inspiration to me and I have already, in one short year, learned so much from you.

So on to the future, to more changes and more development and most of all, more love.

Happy birthday my sweet girl.

I love you forever,

Mama xoxoxoxoxoxox